See Life Through Laughter 4

Laughter is the purest meditation. When we encounter any problem, laugh first and the problem will go away. – SMCH

 

1. Leftovers

m-3


Once a lady said to her waiter in a restaurant, “Would you bring a bag for me so that I can carry home the leftover food for my dog?” And then her six year old son said, “Oh, mommy, are we going to get a dog?”

 

2. What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic? 

What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,

and Panic is when both are pregnant.

images (1)

  1. I Understand

Inside the operating room, the patient was very nervous. He said to the doctor, “Doc., I’m so scared. It’s my first operation.” The doctor said, “Yes, yes, I understand exactly how you feel because it’s my first, too.”

o-5tittle

  1. Fire in My Kitchen

 

There was a person whose house was on fire. He was very, very panicked and urgently called the fire department, “Emergency, emergency, please, quickly, there’s a fire, there’s a fire! Come quickly and put out the fire!” Then the fire department chief asked him, “But where’s the fire? Where did the fire break out?” “It’s in my house,” he said, “very urgent! It’s in my house! Come quick!” “Yes, I know it’s in your house. But where?” He said, “It’s in my kitchen!” The fire department chief lost patience and said, “Listen, I know that! But how do I get to your house? Do you understand me? How do I get to your house?” And the man said, “Don’t you have cars?”

download

5.

jk3-t

jk3-1

There was a person who was a very, very, you know, kind of very terrible person, she used to lend money to everyone. She counted every penny.

And then one day, she was sick, and all the doctors already shook their heads, saying “There ‘s nothing we can do about it.” So she knew her time was up. So she called about fifty of her debtors to come next to her death bed, and then told a servant to bring all the papers, the IOU papers, in front of them and burned them all in front of them. And then one of the debtors was feeling very, kind of emotional and said, “Oh, madam, we have not paid you yet, how come you burned all the papers, the IOU papers.” And the madam, nearly dying, suddenly woke up, and looking them in the eyes, she said, “If I don’t burn all these, when I go down there (the underworld), how can I have any proof to get the money back from all of you?”

 

See Life Through Laughter 3

Laughter is the purest meditation. When we encounter any problem, laugh first and the problem will go away. – SMCH

 

1. No Ships

ship2
There was a new navy recruit who reported to the navyheadquarters. He wrote down his names, and when everything was checked, the officer said, “Well, you are really very qualified, but can you swim?” The recruit was bewildered and asked the officer, “What? You don’t have any ships?” (laugher)2. Romantic Love

The man told his girlfriend, “I would go to the end of the world for you.

The woman replied, “But could you please stay there?”

3. The Making Of Ancestors

 

Our-Ancestors-First-Develop-Manual-Dexterity-Started-Walking-Upright-Sometime-Later-388815-2

     In one classroom, a teacher was explaining to the class that their ancestors were Adam and Eve. A little child raised his hand and said, “My father taught me differently.

     The teacher asked, “What?

    The little child answered, “My father said that our ancestors were monkeys.

And the teacher replied, “That’s your family’s business. It has nothing to do with us. (Laughter)

4. Lucky Dog


There was a couple whose dog had died, so they buried it in the dog cemetery and then went home. Neither of them said anything. But after a while, the husband put his arm around the wife’s shoulder and said: “I’m sorry darling. I know I haven’t been very good to it — thedog; but now that it has died, I feel kind of sorry. If you really feel very bad about it, I will consider getting another dog for you. But to be honest with you, I don’t love dogs. If it hadn’t been for my love for you, I wouldn’t have had that dog for one second.”

The wife turned around and looked at the husband: “What?! I thought it was your dog!”

When they moved in the new house, the dog moved in too, the day of their marriage. Both thought that the dog belonged to the other. So that was a lucky dog.

5. What is God’s Religion?

 

A black person went to a foreign country and wanted to rent an apartment to accommodate his family and himself. However, the landlord refused to rent the place to him because of his color. Most of the tenants there were white, or at least yellow or brown; he was black, so the landlord refused.

Frustrated, he complained, “God, I want to live in that apartment, but they discriminate. They asked me many difficult and unreasonable questions to keep me out. God, they really discriminate!”

God shook Hiers head and said, “I too dared not venture inside!”

The black person asked, ” What? Why didn’t You dare go into that apartment?”

God replied, “What if I went in and they asked me what my faith is, how would I answer them?” (Laughter and applause)